ifyoucarryonthisway:

i need a job where i work one hour a week and i get paid a thousand dollars a minute 

oohtheyhavenibbles:

bonesbuckleup:

So today I learned that Eucalyptus leaves have this chemical in them and when koalas eat the leaves the chemical makes them drunk but since koalas only eat Eucalyptus leaves they basically go through their entire lives perpetually smashed.

timecannotberewritten:

dovahqueene:

iwishlilbwasmygrandpa:

There are thousands of half-babies in my ballsack and that’s terrifying

at least you don’t bleed them out every month

you make a compelling argument